Yeah, I know it's Earth Day, Okay?
Save the earth, yada yada, yada. Or, as my five-year-old says when he sees litter, "be a good earth protector" (pWotector, is really how he says it).
But you know what Earth Day?
You're hogging my spotlight!
I don't care if it's your 40th anniversary this year!
You know why?
Because today is my BIRTHDAY!!!
And I don't want to talk about being green on my birthday. But I do like the color green.
I want to drive all around town in my SUV, with the air conditioner and radio on full blast.
Eat tons of meat and dairy products (no, not organic).
Turn all of the lights on in the house.
Run the water for eons.
Wash all my clothes in hot water.
Get rip roaring drunk and throw the wine bottles away in the same big garbage can as the other trash.
Oh, and use tons of plastic bags!
There I said it. That's right. Uh huh.
*slinks away to hide in the corner with a big ol' piece of cake*
Just kidding, earth. I am proud to share my birthday with you!
See what happens when I deprive myself of carbs for so long?