Have a DREAMY Weekend!

Do you know that place between SLEEP and AWAKE?

That place where you can still remember DREAMING?

That's where I'll always LOVE YOU.

THAT'S where I'll be waiting.

(Tinkerbell to Peter Pan)

(source)

The Five Senses of Winter: SOUND

My other Five Senses of Winter posts, are here: SIGHT and TOUCH

The crunch of boots on snow:

A shovel scraping across a white layer of fluff:

And if you close your eyes and listen carefully...

...you'll notice an absence of sound. As if the snow has muted it, doused it, placed a blanket over it and sent it to the land of nod.

Unless the wind has taken hold, then you'll hear the woosh and howl!

BRRR!

(image, image, image, image, image, image)

From My Bookshelf

I haven't done this in weeks and need to catch this series up! ^_^

I'm only spotlighting books that I haven't mentioned in more recent posts. 

Most recent YA Novels I've read and would RECOMMEND:

ANNA DRESSED IN BLOOD

SHATTER ME

LOLA AND THE BOY NEXT DOOR

THE UNBECOMING OF MARA DYER

THE NEAR WITCH

POSSESS

DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE

What are you reading--any of these? There are so many (too many) in my TBR pile!

This post was part of Sheri's weekly MEME:

This Weekend, Lasso the Moon

See you soon! 

(source) (photo credit)

Crazy Stupid Love

Sometimes we read and write about characters so immersed in love that in essence, they lose themselves. And that's so easy to do in adolescence because that first time feeling is like, WHOA, euphoric and indescribable and like a rabid animal clawing inside your chest.

For you I undress down to the sheaths of my nerves.

I remove my jewelry and set it on the nightstand.

I unhook my ribs, spread my lungs flat on a chair.

I dissolve like a remedy in water, in wine.

I spill without staining, and leave without stirring the air.

I do it for love. For love, I disappear.

(by Kim Addonizio)

But we also know that being consumed by another human being is not all it's cracked up to be. As adults, we've learned that you have to hold true to yourself or you'll jeopardize things. Relationships, values, pride and self-worth.

But how important is this to point out in a novel? Do we need to show character growth or is it okay to  leave it be for the sake of the story?

Many say this is what happened to Bella throughout the Twilight books. She got lost in a boy and turned into a vampire for him. Others see it as a beautiful, eternal love story.(side note: no matter how you view it, it's a crime that this series is scrutinized so viciously. I'd better hope that my first novel isn't ripped to shreds like this one is--it's a damn shame. Move on to the other thousands of novels out there. End of rant.)

Is the author responsible for teaching a lesson or telling a compelling story?

I recently beta read a (soon-to-be-published) book where the story was not happily resolved. It left me raw and bleeding as I held onto hope that there would be some redemption. It was so shocking that it punched me square in the gut and kept me thinking for DAYS.

Isn't that enough? Your thoughts...

(poem credit, image, image)

Elemental

Caffeine is my shepherd;

I shall not doze.

It maketh me to wake in green pastures

It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.

IT RESTORETH MY BUZZ.

It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness

for its names's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of addiction,

I will fear no Equal.

For though art with me;

thy cream and they sugar,

they comfort me!

(from THE CITY ROAST coffee company in Cleveland)

Of the few things I need to begin my day in front of the computer, coffee is NUMERO UNO (some may prefer tea or soda). Tied for second are lip balm and my phone.

What's your vice? Or should I call it, motivation? :D

(image, image, image, image,image)

Treasure Your Weekend!

See you next week! :D

(credit)

The Five Senses of Winter: TOUCH

My other Five Senses post for Winter is: HERE


A thick blanket of skin tingling COLD:

Fluffy, powdery, wet:

Frozen, icy, solid:

SHIVER!
(images)

First Words Workshop: Four Seconds

To see how the workshop began, read THIS post: An Analysis of First Pages.

  This Month's Anonymous Contemporary Young Adult Excerpt:
           
            Four seconds left. I watch from the stands as Tim Seginski passes the basketball to Nate Hardman. The clock starts. Nate races down court.

            Three seconds. I hear the pound, pound, pound of the basketball.

            Two seconds. Nate reaches mid-court.

            One second. Nate launches the ball. I hold my breath. The ball arcs toward the hoop.

            Time stops.

            The ball drops…

            THROUGH THE NET!

            What a shot! I leap to my feet. Band members hug. Cheerleaders hug. Students and parents hug. I wish a certain girl would hug me….

            If we'd made thirty more points, we’d have won by one.

My thoughts are in Red:


            Four seconds left. I watch from the stands as Tim Seginski passes the basketball to Nate Hardman. The clock starts. Nate races down court.

            Three seconds. I hear the pound, pound, pound of the basketball.

            Two seconds. Nate reaches mid-court. Nice tension!

            One second. Nate launches the ball. I hold my breath. The ball arcs toward the hoop.

            Time stops.

            The ball drops…

            THROUGH THE NET! I enjoyed the action and the tension here. The only thing missing for me is knowing who's talking. Is it a guy or a girl? If one minute detail could be thrown in, like maybe something to identify his sneakers, his clothes, his hair or something to tell me it's male POV.

            What a shot! I leap to my feet. Band members hug. Cheerleaders hug. Students and parents hug. I wish a certain girl would hug me…. Cute! But where is this girl? Is she in the stands, a cheerleader? Maybe he glances at her somewhere in here to heighten the tension.

            If we'd made thirty more points, we’d have won by one. FUNNY! I had to read it three times to "get it", which might be me and needing more coffee. :-) But I felt like a word was missing, like only, or maybe it could be worded differently? 


Also, the tension at the beginning made it seem like this was "a big game". Was the game important for some reason? Kind of anti-climatic in a way and it makes me wonder if it's important to start the story there. Unless you tell us right after why this game was important to the MC or the school? That would help. Maybe it's just a matter of having "any" points on the board is a victory for this team--see what I mean?

Stina's thoughts are in Blue:


       Four seconds left. (Great first sentence. I had it feeling it had something to do with sports, but I was compelled enough to keep reading). I watch from the stands as Tim Seginski passes the basketball to Nate Hardman. The clock starts. Nate races down court.

      Three seconds. I hear the pound, pound, pound of the basketball. (Nice use of the rhetorical device (pound, pound, pound). My only issue is that I feel distanced from the main character because of the word ‘hear’. Just tell me what he hears. Don’t tell me he heard it. Make me feel as if I’m in the moment, in the character’s head.)

       Two seconds. Nate reaches mid-court.

       One second. Nate launches the ball. I hold my breath.(What about the audience? Does a hush roll through it, like everyone is suspended in time (but be more original than that) or are they screaming? Does everyone gasp at the same time?) The ball arcs toward the hoop.

       Time stops.

       The ball drops… (This sounds very SF. As if time standstills and the ball is unable to freeze mid air and drops into the net. It’s not a big deal, and I do like the urgency of your short sentences here.)

       THROUGH THE NET!

       What a shot! I leap to my feet. Band members hug. Cheerleaders hug. Students and parents hug. I wish a certain girl would hug me….

       If we'd made thirty more points, we’d have won by one. (I’m intrigued. Why are they celebrating when they lost by 29 points?)

        My only concern is you’ve given me no reason to care. I don’t care about the character. He’s not even in the game. I would have cared more for him if he was the one throwing the ball. I recently read a YA contemp novel with a similar start, but the main character was the player and I kept reading because I was involved in the emotion of the game. Her game. I wanted to know if her team won and what would happen next.

       You did a great job showing the urgency of the moment with the short sentences. As you know, you didn’t have time for fancy imagery and inner thoughts. The game isn’t stopping for that.

POSSIBLE REWRITE BASED ON BOTH SETS OF COMMENTS:

          Four seconds left. In my side view I spot Tara clench her pom poms as I wring the baseball cap in my hands.  Tim Seginski passes the basketball to Nate Hardman. The clock starts. I watch from the top row of the stands as Nate races down court.

            Three seconds. The basketball pounds, pounds, pounds the floor.

            Two seconds. Nate reaches mid-court.

            One second. Nate launches the ball. I hold my breath as a collective gasp rolls through our side of the stands. The ball arcs toward the hoop.

            Time stops.

            The ball drops…

            THROUGH THE NET!

            What a shot! I leap to my feet. Band members hug. Cheerleaders hug. Students and parents hug. I wish a certain girl would hug me….

            If we'd only made thirty more points, we would have actually won a game! At least it was one point better than last season's shut out. 

***********************


Two different viewpoints to take or leave. Thanks for this great entry!


Do you want YOUR first 100 words work-shopped? Email me!

Freeze Frame: Favorite Holiday Gift

I received lots of nice things, but by far the gifts that surprised me most were from hubby. Because they were unexpected (if that makes sense).

Not only did he buy me a comfortable brown leather office chair (my *other* chair didn't even have arm rests):

But if you look more closely, you'll see he also got me some "Writer's Block" dark chocolate and organic coffee to go with my chair (from a company in Port Townsend, WA):

Now that's what I call "writer support"! Such a sweetie!

Three Reasons To Love CRACKED

1. Two distinct teen male points of view. How much more awesome (and crafty) can this author get? I mean, the writing is fantastic.

2. One is a bully and the other is his victim. And guess what? I rooted for both! My heart ripped to shreds hearing their stories before and after they ended up as roommates in the same psych ward.

3. K.M. Walton sewed my heart back together, stitch by stitch. She didn't force feed me a life lesson or give too tidy of an ending. What she did was give me realistic HOPE and as a reader that's all I really needed.

First line: I have wished that Bull Mastrick would die almost every single day.


YOU MUST (*must*) READ THIS BOOK!


Add it to Goodreads !
Order it HERE !


HAPPY NEW YEAR! ^_^

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

My blog is going dark so I can enjoy the holidays with my family. I wish the same for you!

My comments are off. See you in 2012!

(image)