1. One of my BIGGEST fears (seriously, like top three) is to choke, or have someone I love choke.
And I think I know the reason why. When I was in my twenties, a co-worker choked on a taco shell right in front of me. She stood up, held her throat, and stumbled around.
The work cafeteria was packed with people and nobody did anything--just stared.
I stood up and followed her to the back kitchen where I tried the Heimlich maneuver several times, to no avail. By this time she was turning blue.
Knowing she might die, I yelled out into the cafeteria crowd for help. A larger, taller co-worker came running up, pushed me out of the way, and gave her ONE HARD THRUST. Out popped the damn shell in one fell swoop.
Why didn't it work when I tried it? Who the hell knows. But it has haunted me ever since. I felt helpless.
2. Last week Friday was probably the scariest moment of my life, as a parent.
My son accidentally swallowed a quarter (seriously, such a freak accident).
For the first 30 seconds when I thought he was choking and we wouldn't be able to save him (because c'mon, it was a quarter going down his throat), lots of crazy, sad things flashed through my mind. I am even tearing up writing this.
My husband was the rational one in the situation (I did everything wrong--turned him upside down and whacked his back) and realized he was trying to talk, which meant he could breath!
My son is such a sensitive soul, that it killed me when he cried and cried afterward asking if he was going to die (I can only imagine how it felt going down).
His stomach was x-rayed and that quarter made it to his belly. We are expecting it's arrival any day now in the toilet bowl. ;-)
3. I am secretly (irrationally) afraid that I brought this episode on.
You know, like in the book THE SECRET? How, if you obsess over something long enough the universe will align to bring it your way? I kinda believe that sh**.
So from here on out I want to make it VERY CLEAR that I do not have ANY fears about anything anymore.
That's right, UNIVERSE. Mmm... Hmm!