Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Almost Kiss

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I know, it's not Monday yet, but Frankie from Frankie Writes twisted my arm (not really). I needed to participate in her NO KISS BLOGFEST.

Besides, the almost kiss is my favorite kind of scene to write.


So this will just have to count as my Monday post :-)

******

This excerpt is from my YA ghost story, HAUNTED MELODY.

Melody's BF, Paige, is dead (looks like a suicide) and she lusts after her BF's boyfriend (so she's kind of a mess)!


Coming up close behind, his breath warmed my neck. He squeezed my shoulder, my skin prickling beneath the touch of his balmy hand. I remained perfectly still, praying he’d leave his fingers there.

“Mel.” He said my name so tenderly, I nearly dissolved into tears right then and there. “You sure I shouldn’t stay?”

“Yes… and no.” I turned to look at him. “I kind of need to do this alone.”

His eyes travelled over my shoulder to her room.

“I miss her.”

“I know,” he said, swiping a strand of stray hair from my eyes. “Me too.”

My stomach tingled as his eyes held mine. His lips were a whisper away, and I considered closing the distance between us.

Then the hairs rose on the back of my neck...

27 comments:

Kelly Lyman said...

Aw, man. Her Bf's boy...such internal conflict going on! I like it. It really gives it layers. Nice job.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I love that excerpt. It would definitely keep me reading.

Amparo Ortiz said...

Oh, you evil woman! I would've loved to keep reading :(

And... did you say ghost story??? Um... yeah. Now I'm dying to know what happens next!

Thanks for sharing!

Kaitlin Ward said...

nice tension!! evil cliffhanger. :)

Debby@Just Breathe said...

My favorite movie!!! Great almost kiss.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Eeks, I hope Paige loves her BF and will wish her well, not haunt her. I'm feeling spooked though by that last line. Want more!

Jessica Lei said...

WOW, you packed a lot into such a small space! Great job :) Wondering what happens next!

Devin Bond said...

Goodness gracious, her bf's boyfriend? That'll make for interesting situations. This is definitely good. I want to read more. :)

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Wow, loved this. Now I want to read more!

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

Omg what tension! That was awesome--you're evil for not sharing more;)

J.C. Martin said...

Wow, such a short little excerpt, but my does it pack a punch! I love how you describe their lips being but a whisper apart. Great choice of words!

Raquel Byrnes said...

Hey! Where's the rest! I want to know what happened. Hope you post more later. =)
Edge of Your Seat Romance

Summer Ross said...

Very intriguing. I liked how you got to the point in such a short amount of space. Well done.

Dawn Embers said...

oooo. Great way to end the scene in suspense. Nicely done.

storyqueen said...

The hairs just rose on the back of my neck, too!

Well done!

Shelley

Melissa Gill said...

**Shi ver* Oh yeah. Love the tension here.

Charity Bradford said...

Ooo, nice and I like the way you end. Is the BF watching, waiting?

Loralie Hall said...

Oh, so close...I'd love to see how this fits into the rest of the story, and way to leave us all hanging a the end there :-P ;-)

Amalia T. said...

like Charity, I like the idea that the ghost Paige is watching at the end. That would DEFINITELY be awkward for a relationship with the boyfriend guy! oofda.

Pamela said...

Okay, I need a copy of this book!

Jen Daiker said...

Wow... Just Wow. I knew I'd like this book. When do I get to snag a copy... I also think this is going to be a giveaway copy for sure!

MAddy said...

Such a tease! ;o) I'm so glad you're back!! I'm emailing you tonight or tomorrow (if I can get my act together) to discuss! Hope you had a great holiday hiatus!

Matthew Rush said...

OMG!!!! That pic is from It's a Wonderful Life!!!! That's my favorite holiday movie and I ball like a toddler throwing a fit every time I watch it.

Yes. I am a big strong man and I cry during movies. A LOT.

Matthew Rush said...

Also, great excerpt!

Lourie said...

I just got goose bumps!!!

Melissa said...

Love all the internal conflict going on here! This is an awesome entry and almost kiss. Great job!

Dominic de Mattos said...

Now then is Paige upset that Melody is making eyes at her boyfriend or is Paige trying to warn her BF about something only Paige knows? dun dun dun dah!

Bags of tension and just when you think it is going to resolve it cranks up a hundred notches! Great stuff

:Dom (My No Kiss)